___Strange how your arms sting; [entries|friends|calendar] lets fight about who hurts worse [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[ Aug | 15| 07 : 09:52am ] hey old journal, how's it hangin? 2 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Nov | 05| 05 : 01:25pm ] [ mood | bummed ] hi, old journal. things have been rough. i hope things are okay with you. i realize it's been a while. but i just wanted you to know i still think about you and the times we've shared. ill come to check on you again soon. love me 1 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Jul | 27| 05 : 05:05pm ] boring tearthesewings list twenty people you know 1.hillary 2. morgan 3. brianna 4. devon 5. oscar 6. rachael 7. garrett 8.luc 9.phil 10.andrew 11. kat 12.farrah 13. bill 14. ryan 15.ryan menzzz 16. adela 17. monique 18. heather 19. james 20. palindrome who is 8 dating? -this girl jennie? is 9 a boy or a girl? -boy would 11 and 2 make a cute couple? -that makes me real nervous. which grade is 17 in? - mine when was the last time you talked to 12? - a couple days ago online what is 6's favorite band? - i dont know anymore and thats not righttt does 1 have any siblings? -nope would you ever date 3? -nope but i love her would you ever date 7? -ehhh. no offense garrettttt but you know, its a little too close for comfort what is 15's last name? -menzer what is 10's middle name? -aye i dont know. what is 5's favorite thing to do? - somersaults and play with that g-damn puppy. and maybe sleep sitting up would 14 and 19 make a good couple? - AHHHH what school does 20 go to? -army navy tell me a random fact about 11? -hmmm she doesnt like it when i burp because she thinks it leads to barfing and 3? - she hates the smell of fire/shes an amazing person all around have you ever had a crush on 15? - no but we're in love What is 4's favorite color? -sorry deeeeg i dont know but i wanna say green would you make out with 14? - oh, you know are 5 & 6 best friends? - naw they havent met does 7 like 20? - see above does 8 like 19? -GAH see above how did you meet 2? - umm on 9/11 i guess. but more officially at prom or chris' house. that was... cool? naw. were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Jun | 14| 05 : 11:02am ] just a heads up; ill be in newbury park from tomorrow night or thursday morning to late on saturday. just let me know if/when you want to hangout 2 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Jun | 04| 05 : 11:15am ] two c's, an a, and a b. not bad. oh, someone move and and let me live with you, ok? im about to kill myself 2 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ May | 18| 05 : 09:19am ] oh, im bored. im going to wear cutoff jean shorts today. and probably heels. it hasn't been that long since we drank to the sunset, until it was gone. and down with it went our pain and fear, as we slowly broke contact more and more, with every beer. and we passed out in each other's arms, both admitting we'd never felt better. oh, add my other journal, duh. this one is a sad sappy sucker birthday weekend here we come 2 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ May | 15| 05 : 11:44am ] would anyone be interested in going in on a hotel room to help me celebrate my birthday next saturday? 2 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ May | 06| 05 : 12:25am ] "You make my everything okay" -mirah: birthday present you could describe me as disgustingly optimistic damaged goods. i am crumbling but my hope isnt. i think it may be time to retire this new journal: set_ofnew_wings were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ May | 04| 05 : 06:31pm ] your ex likes to be friends with the person who raped me. kyle just asked me whats wrong. this is real vague but i feel gross 6 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ May | 04| 05 : 01:27pm ] [ mood | 2 down ] [ music | romeo void- never say never ] drink before french i might like you better if we slept together? ( it took me too long to make an lj cut ) i was making some veggie rib things and then the phone rang. it made me get it all over me. i thought it was going to be you and i was excited to tell you how i just got barbeque sauce in my hair. it wasnt you, it was amy. i like wearing shirts that show my "boobs" daily. who is going to hangout with me on my birthday? this drive is going to be fun in a second i dont care, i like you. i wish sex was real today. haha im kind of dancing. 2 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ May | 01| 05 : 11:02pm ] ow my most of me it took me three tries to put on your jacket it reminded me of prom- the one that led me to where im standing when my tall source of hope brought me beer on ice and what would come to be my future everything found it amusing- his sister tried to take me home and i started holding my breath every damn day 60 car pileup sleeping next to near strangers who breathe on my back through dad's striped sweater on purpose while i watch the clock the phone neither pulls me up and out of there like my heart my head had hoped- besides your tone of voice- disgusted dial tone- should have been rocks thrown at stray dogs- except i ate them and my belly aches id settle for a bruise if its the closest ill get to you. i miss alex c. bones and crowns: you ever feel like things never work out for you? no matter how little you ask? abnormal syke: yes blahhh i cant write anymore. someone make me feel better. tell me something or whatever. were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Apr | 30| 05 : 06:02pm ] oh, youre hurting me. ehh its ok, i dont count. im going to try and sleep until its my turn to be rescued. were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Apr | 29| 05 : 05:18pm ] [ music | i love operation ivy. ] work sent me home today because i felt like barfing. whatever? ( so i took pictures of baby and comet and myself intsead. ) kat- are you coming over this weekend? i hope so. oh shit! it's 5 o'clock. you know what that means. 2 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Apr | 27| 05 : 08:12pm ] i feel drunk and crazy no ones coming this weekend because everyone hates a casey. and that casey is me. my mom is leaving on friday, thank god. not really, she's a good kid. if you guys come here, we can drink and go in a jacuzzi and be lovers and friends, like the song. with uRsher. i ate the exact same meals as yesterday ohhh, whatever. seriously sad face id love for you to be here so i can cling to your not real anything and baby's clawing through my target bag and im ok with that but i want you here and in my arms bones marrow dreams and i wake up singing the song my alarm makes and you stole my bed right when i left the room we could share it you know.. abnormal syke: TAKE YOUR WINGS OUTSIDE abnormal syke: YOU CANT FLY IN HERE 4 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Apr | 26| 05 : 02:04pm ] ( take a T.O., tender heart. ) 7 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Apr | 25| 05 : 02:46pm ] [ music | mase! ] i just ate a tear, is that dumb? im actually really happy/hopeful. i ate too much hot sauce. whatever, this is real. illary and oscar, talk to eachother about this weekend. hurry go. ill-ary. har har good luck on me driving to french class right now ooh, mase! im dancing in this rolly chair. breathe, stretch, shake, let it go. 2 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Apr | 25| 05 : 10:07am ] ow my most of me. this weekend was decent, though. bowling parties? whatever. but i do love everyone at work. crushes on the wrong ideas all the time? yeah do it. who is coming here next weekend? 3 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Apr | 22| 05 : 09:21pm ] Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion |||||||||||||||| 63% Stability |||||| 23% Orderliness |||||| 26% Empathy |||||||||||||||| 70% Interdependence |||||||||||||||| 63% Intellectual |||||| 30% Mystical |||||||||||||| 56% Artistic |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Religious || 10% Hedonism |||||||||||||||||||| 83% Materialism |||||||||||||| 56% Narcissism |||||||||||| 50% Adventurousness |||||||||||||||| 63% Work ethic |||||||||| 36% Self absorbed |||||||||||||| 56% Conflict seeking |||||| 30% Need to dominate |||||||||| 36% Romantic |||||||||||||||||||| 83% Avoidant |||||||||||| 50% Anti-authority |||||||||||||| 56% Wealth |||||||||||||||| 63% Dependency |||||||||||||||| 63% Change averse |||||| 23% Cautiousness |||||||||||| 50% Individuality |||||||||||||||| 70% Sexuality |||||||||||||| 56% Peter pan complex |||||||||||||||||| 76% Physical security |||||||||||||||||||| 83% Food indulgent |||| 16% Histrionic |||||||||||||||| 63% Paranoia |||||||||||||| 56% Vanity |||||||||||||||| 63% Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||||||| 83% Female cliche |||||||||||||||||| 76% Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test personality tests by similarminds.com sucks. drink #3, please. p.s. everything on sale is $1 tomorrow at my work. p.s. call/visit me tonight/tomorrow yea-uh? im supposed to go to a killer KEGGER tonight. f yeah. ew, f noooo. but justin's there, so f yep im prolly gonna. oh, everyone come over next weekend. p.b. and n.b. are going to tex-ass. and i need a damn 21. cheap champagne pour ma vie. a tout a l'heure et a bien tot. 7 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Apr | 22| 05 : 12:51am ] it's like i just realized im completely used up and broken thanks to all the touch and go's thanks to my sickeningly naiive hope. 4 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Apr | 21| 05 : 11:39am ] [ mood | chandon ] ( my true face. ) drive forever forever ever? if i could lose 5 more pounds, that would be chill. i like to be the touch and go type but it was truly lovely seeing you three; brianna, hillary, jenn (alphabetical order) and valentine/palindrome? a whole other story. sort of. if you could guess one thing, youd probably be right. i fucking was lame and didn't charge my phone, as usual, so i didn't get to see other people. oscar: youd better come here this weekend or im going to be pissssed! nope, not really pissed, but you know. i got home at 5 am and now i feel like i have a hangover minus the alcohol. oh wait oops. but that didnt really count too much. straight edge people love me forever for some reason. i hate san diego. the only thing i like sometimes include: school sometimes work hanging out with certain people sometimes, but that's rare and apparently im broken and socially awkward. annnnd comet/family. comet family. i never feel boring/bored when im with my friends up there. i dont really care about being bored, but boring? no thanks. ok work forever in about an hour. im done after 9 every night this weekend, so book a night or something. and all your thoughts, they rot. 3 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Apr | 20| 05 : 09:35am ] first of all,  yes. second; everyone stay out of my dreams. third: i did laundry for some reason. fourth: i am driving north today, JUST for today. so if you want to see me, you should probably give me a call. in closing, oh wait no. fifth!: make sure youre all not busy the weekend of the 21st. ok now, in closing, + come visit me at work +iggy pop is real good summersummersummmmerrrr 2 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Apr | 19| 05 : 12:08pm ] whattheefffff: dood, find a boyfriend ( some stupid stuff. ) ..... abnormal syke: i miss abnormal syke: my cigarettes abnormal syke: and my butt abnormal syke: annnnnnnd nohessleeping: ? abnormal syke: marguerite abnormal syke: and sex abnormal syke: and abnormal syke: the alamo abnormal syke: mmhm! i like talking at nothing. rum and pineapple coconut juice is real good. everyone is usually all bummed on coconut juice, though. guess who's driving up to newbury park for a half day/night thing? im thinking going thursday after class and coming back early friday. let me know your schedules. id like to go to the valley and get this thing professionally removed from my lip, if possible. and maybe eat pizza. hillary, this is for you, since youre like baby > comet : i have a boner ready. come visit me at my place of work yeah? 9 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

wheres my heart [ Apr | 18| 05 : 09:22am ] dear bea: " have no man, i have no social life, i have bad grades, i have serious conflict at work, i have no support, i have more payments to pay..." i empathize completely. well, maybe not so much with the payments thing, even though i have a couple thousand dollar fines from various schools all over the country. but yeah. i hope things get better for you/us! dear oscar: i like to pass out before 9 oclock. im calling you back at like 1ish, yeah? dear hillary: i miss you, come over and be my friend. actually wait, dear friends: read above. apparently my work is having a bowling party next sunday. apparently i can bring guests. someone come with, it's only three dollars. Hey friends don't you think you better cool it down You're always gettin' curious and leavin' town You know i like it being in your family I wonder what would happen if nobody left We'd all stick around if we'd all stick around And here's a question that's been tested: Tell me, if we sleep together Would it make it any better? If we sleep together Would you be my friend forever? hmm. ok. san diego? friends? blahblahblah 7 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Apr | 16| 05 : 09:03pm ] san diego is not my favorite. i just like to go to school all week and then work all day all weekend. and then not do anything else. oh! and not have friends here. and i cant go see all of you because of work. bad cycle, yeah? i had a really weird dream last night having to do with seeing someone fall off a building and seeing their body smashed on the ground. and ben was there and brianna was there. baby just licked the bottoms of my shoes for like 20 minutes. everyone is apathetic. everything hurts my heart. people from work are finally nice to me. and im not the new girl anymore. i feel tired and bored and ugly and lonely and and and and help 3 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Apr | 14| 05 : 10:21pm ] abnormal syke: you just made me write this sort of and if you didnt care you wouldnt take the time handfuls glassfuls bowl fulls (enterpret as you please) to type it up so eloquently- sitting pretty like i try to shoulders back straight so if you cant keep your nails off that chalkboard im going to hit you hard so you'll stop hurting her internal damage forever forever memories that you burned onto her back the backs of her eyelids mine always close before hers but id hold her like i hold my cat since i love them both with infinite love oceans of hope we wade in up to our ankles in those senseless fingers tracing letters on our bare backs we both are so quick to lose our shirts and be thankful when we're both awake ready to talk on the ride home safety and i cant remember your figure for once it doesnt kill me drowning in champagne not cheap since my mom wouldnt have it that way though its always sweeter and it lets me melt away the world and all it ever meant but you are always there real and subtly flowing at the base of my brain like the skirt i put on hold. or maybe it was a dress- my bones want to hold you close despite their constant aching- id ignore it throw it aside just to wake up weary eyed next to your jagged hips. 4 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Apr | 14| 05 : 12:29pm ] last night i spooned with comet, as usual. today when i got back from a really shitty morning of school, my mom told me she's lost. awesome! ok now work for 8 hours. make it better, please. were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Apr | 13| 05 : 01:00am ] i love s/bad moods! today i went to the beach with vicki. that was real nice. vicki: you look amazing! sushi thing tomorrow? i had too much vodka tonic and passed out and got sunburned blankets = jackets i like to be so cold that i shake. i need a place to stay on friday night, after work obviously. if you could give me one gift, what would it be? were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Apr | 11| 05 : 04:21pm ] i ditched class today. instead i nursed my hangover with bbq chips and gathered together some stuff to sell to buffalo exchange. i like wearing ribbon as a bracelet. bjork's "all is full of love" video makes me really happy and also sad. i get out of school at 11 tomorrow and dont work; i want to do something fun tomorrow. too bad everybody hates the beach. whatever, i want a beach picnic. whoever brings me a cigarette will get a blow pop in return. and those are good. 6 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Apr | 10| 05 : 09:55pm ] i drank too much work went by real fast today my parents and i talked about crazy stuff like fuck i dont remember maybe like about how we should make a movie annnnnnnd whoa desperate housewives is on i remember when i put "dangerous housewives" on my myspace thing greg came to visit me too late today. that was sad. i even fixed my makeup. my dad likes to make fun of me for putting vodka in coke. someone come have a cigarette with me. if i could get married within three years, i totally would. i want to dress my kids up in crazy outfits. i have a cut on my back from a binder. ask me about it! 7 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Apr | 09| 05 : 08:34pm ] im going to have been up for twenty four hours soon. thank goodness. no joke. real life puts the internet to shame. people at work were nice to me today! female friends: someone talk to me so i can talk to you about girl things sort of hopelessly hopeful? i hope so, for you. my eyes just closed for a second. just one maybe 1 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Apr | 08| 05 : 09:32am ] dear the world, I work 34 hours counting yesterday through sunday. oh! and i work all next thursday through sunday as well. so im probably not going to be in newbury park for a good two to three more weeks. faaaaantastic. love me. p.s. let me know like, wayyy in advance, if there is something i should request time off for. then i can actually come and kiss and bite you all. oh, so i work until 7:30 tonight. and id really like to do something besides work forever. you know what to do. im trying to be better at phones. 2 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Apr | 07| 05 : 12:22am ] my cat is sort of my life. (apparently you can click on these?)                         hillary. where are you. i want a picnic. i work 34 hours in the next 4 days. i am never doing laundry. 18 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Apr | 05| 05 : 01:43pm ] [ mood | smooshed faces ] [ music | ratatat ] the phone is ringing. today was a success/stressful. i woke up at 5 something so i could finish my essay for philosophy. i only had ten minutes to get ready for my debate in english. i forgot how much i like arguing. well, and just doing my best to present a side to something relatively controversial in an eloquent manner. my jeans kind of smell and this drink is going straight to my head. people should live closer so we could hangout and whatnot. id make drinks and we could sit poolside or play at the park behind the apartment. there are so many asians its cute but confusing. i really miss np and the np-ers. empasis on hillary and brianna. but thats a given. i dont know when ill be able to make it up there since im scheduled like every weekend, all weekend. ill talk to my manager the next time i work. would you girls be interested in going in on a motel room together? ill have money this next time so.. anyone interested, just holla at a balla. comet is a spoonaholic. i think becky's buying me a burrito tonight. what an eventful day! hillbillarilla-call me if im not online later. i should finish my FIDM application, even though my laziness is. my laziness IS. im not all sad today, which is lovely. im overly sensitive and though it would probably help to be more "mean", its not going to happen. i miss chess? gin and tonics all around. 2 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Apr | 04| 05 : 12:50pm ] forever, forever. cut the cord how did everything end up beat up broken down on the side of the road things that used to turn the world make a life hopeful liveable now its only in my dreams where i bring my face close to yours wake up to an aching chest clearly confused about as real as the fat tears my keyboard catches it makes me proud to be so silent parents ils regardent la tele derriere moi laughing while my shoulders subtley shake under a red blanket my cat loves me most thank god but even she finds my flaws with her delicate claws and i wake up thin rivers of blood across my cheek maybe my problem is that i like to hold her hold people- or that i keep completely quiet when im lit on fire or my heart starts to fray my hope is repulsive not able to be buried or drowned in seafoam green plastic cups trust me ive tried my arms arent strong enough long enough to push you away besides i wouldnt couldnt if i could i like the way i feel when i look at you. butterfly heart and hopelessly hopeful? oh, this is just for me.

[ Apr | 03| 05 : 10:05am ] yesterday i saw the vagina monologues with my mother, nele berner. it was seriously so awkward and also sometimes boring. last night we had a philosophy study group at this guy alex's house, and i got to play with his boxer pup for a real long time. i went to coronado and bravely conquered the bridge. then greg taught me how to play chess, and the second time i didn't lose after 5 minutes. i had a real good time except when i got a leg cramp for mocking transformers. and i probably talked too much and kept greg from his trash can beer friends. i like talking to hillary about crazy things. i have the sneezes and work from 12 to forever. sometimes i hope people's text messaging is working again and send them texts. oh! and no drinking the whole weekend! time to go get dressed crazy. 3 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Apr | 01| 05 : 08:15pm ] 8 1/2 hours of work later im home. nutshell: UPinAspaceDream: what are you doin tomarrow? abnormal syke: hmmm UPinAspaceDream: are you workin? abnormal syke: im going to see vagina monologues for my human sexuality class abnormal syke: and then i have a philosophy study group abnormal syke: then im going to get drunk my dad made me swear to jesus christ superstar that id ride the vespa tomorrow. im too hopeful, its gross. im really not real. 1 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

abnormal syke: so did you put a bible on your butt? [ Mar | 31| 05 : 12:40pm ] SteLLaR1433: haha i just got a flashback of the motel and the bible on my butt abnormal syke: WHAT?? blahblahblah SteLLaR1433: and you were like "jenn put the bible on your butt" ( kyle and baby and etc. ) 12 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

abnormal syke: good morning neverlanddd [ Mar | 30| 05 : 08:58am ] last night i was happy because we had pizza. but at the table, my mom told my dad i didnt go to philosophy. and that instead i just cried and slept. and he was like: YOURE NOT EMOTIONALLY STABLE! GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER! then i put my hood on my face and remembered i was wearing boy deoderant, because it smelled real good. and i was like, "hey kyle, im wearing your deoderant. hey guys, i smell like kyle on a good day. like before 2ish." and dad was like, "hahahaha..etc..no wonder you cant get dates, you wear the same shirt over and over and you smell like a boy." ew why am i using a happy birthday cup? apparently our 50,000 dollar pool/waste of money will be done in late may. so get ready to come down here and we'll camp out and swim. tell me things and send me gas money so i can roll around np asap. spring break broke. 5 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Mar | 29| 05 : 01:00pm ] edited big time. i dont feel and it feels great. my goal is to learn to be mean and ultimately untouchable. hillary: can you call me later so i have someone real to talk to? were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Mar | 27| 05 : 12:49pm ] mortar and pessel? im really sad and i dont know what to do. 7 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Mar | 25| 05 : 07:10pm ] first day of work is over. i dont know what my job is. should i go to newbury park tomorrow? someone wake me up at liiiiike, 9. im going to go lay down and think/dream about weird stuff. edit: my cat just spent 15 minutes licking the bottom of my shoe. oh, groundhog day is on. thats a real good thing. were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Mar | 24| 05 : 08:04pm ] edit the sad parts goosebumps and this iced glass isnt exactly what id call helpful but its almost empty almost another empty room in another small empty apartment- but this ones lacking smoke except when i go out to join the christmas lights we never took down- thank god because i really do love them like i love you all a warmth in my heart despite the cold i should be numb to since last year the snow was a strange savior of sorts to me. oh, hi. im coming to newbury park on saturday after my first day of work for rory's thing. so i suggest everyone capable of going: GO! i started my application for fidm today. i want to do merchandise marketing. whitenoisex: you we're part of that live journal teenporn ring haha aw comet's cute. someone send me cigarettes in the mail?? thank you, garrett. im a real ugly face. 11:37 + wine + no one awake = mehhh. 3 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Mar | 23| 05 : 07:18pm ] [ mood | hopeful ] [ music | sage francis- bridle ] tell me one thing you think about me. also, call me tonight. im guessing ill be drinking and i like to hear real voices rather than see real sentences. it makes sense if you think about it. i dont want to eat anything except chocolate. and that one sandwich from monday. i miss your bed(s). im about to decide where ill be living next year. im leaning towards not here. 5 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

citizenGTE: he nice boy you blonde girl [ Mar | 23| 05 : 12:59am ] ( Don't you take this away, I'm still wanting my face on your cheek ) 17 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Mar | 21| 05 : 11:42am ] im debating whether or not i should take a nap before i pick up hillary from school. morgan: thank you for the amazingly adorable note on my car. it made my morning. so im still in newbury park, obviously. this weekend was. yeah, it just was. i personally really liked saturday, even though it makes me sad other people really didnt. i have bruises all over my legs. i dont want to go home. paul berner wont let me talk about philosophy stuff without getting mad. if the berner parents go to np NEXT weekend, everyone should come over. im nervous about starting my new job. sweaty hands sort of nervous. i love eating when im not hungry. i really want some red gatorade or maybe some green tea. my lips are real chapped and im sad that generally speaking people never feel the same way that i do. my stomach just grumbled. it does that a lot apparently 10 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Mar | 17| 05 : 02:15pm ] aw i just got a job after 1 interview instead of the usual 3. i feel proud? ok i want to eat the world and say "my mom, gimme money so i can go to NP." were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Mar | 16| 05 : 11:16pm ] no lights on and my heart's pounding and my nostalgia's running maybe overflowing maybe these are vodka tears we never drank together because i wanted to be your roots for so so long kiss your wounds clean as best i knew how but youve been torn from my chest inappropriate word choices inappropriate emotions since i hummed loud enough to drown you out and now im the static. karma's gonna slit hope's throat and bring up the best times at the dinner table-- awkward silences and an attempt to keep from cracking no one needs to know something's going to give but jealousy is so fucking adorable -scream it- i want to eat it up and hit you in the face because it helps me cry and have another reason to hate myself. and i believed for so so long were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Mar | 16| 05 : 09:07am ] ( here hillary, you'll want these. here the rest of you, disregard these completely, PLEASE. ) 1 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Mar | 14| 05 : 01:13pm ] losing all touch, building a desert. today i almost cried in my human sexuality class. i dont want to talk about/hear about people who dont orgasm ever. and i also dont want stupid girls to ask stupid questions about it. and i dont want the teacher to say, "but lets not talk about it like its a bad thing. it would make them feel bad." them? what? and then some guy offered me a ride to me car. he probably wouldnt have done that had he known im sexually broken. like my moccasins. i think i damaged my neck by hitting my head on a wall too much the other night. the only boys that like me have celestial leg tattoos or something. i need more soup! i miss you i hate you i need you or i want you i want to scream need but that doesnt add up i cant talk to you seriously and i cant even begin to try to read into all this internet crap because its not real like when i used to hold you and miss art class. i still miss it. or maybe just that year 3 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

[ Mar | 13| 05 : 04:27pm ] ew, why is everyone listening to say anything? get outta here, ben. youre so pre-xmas 2004. 4 were brave. and rode the waves of nostalgia

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